How to Bend the Knee
No, we’re not fondly reminiscing on those numerous pledging of fealty scenes from Game of Thrones silly, we’re focused on something a lot more serious and closer to home, and that’s how to propose!
Some have dubbed February as ‘the month of love’, what with Valentine’s Day and the preparations that many couples make to show their love and appreciation for their significant other.
Well, we thought that instead of the usual ‘go get roses and prepare a homemade dinner by candlelight’ speech we’d bump it up a notch and give you guys who are a little more serious about things some hearty advice on how to really lock things down. That’s right, we’re talking the ultimate ball-and-chain situation, and those always begin with a marriage proposal.
So, what’s the best way, or the best place? Do you buy the biggest ring you can find, and dress up the smartest you’ve ever been? Should it be sudden and random like an engagement ring at the bottom of a champagne glass or tucked between the folds of a fortune cookie (which is also risky come to think of it)? Maybe it should be more complex and apparent, like an obvious out-of-the-ordinary romantic dinner on a ferry followed by live music and ending with you getting down on one knee on the top floor under the moonlight and popping the question?
Well, no matter how it happens the first thing to remember is that every proposal should be personal. All that is really important is that the moment is special between you two and that the love is genuine and sincere – then it’s more than likely to be perfect either way.
Still, that doesn’t mean we can’t up the ante and make the moment that more special, and memorable, and easier to remember in those golden years when you’re explaining it to any of the youngest family members who’ll care to listen.
So, let’s check it out!
BE CERTAIN
It seems like an obvious statement to make, but before you even get down on one knee you need to be sure about the person you’re hoping to marry. Yes, it could be a spur of the moment thing, and yes, lust and infatuation can often be mistaken for love. Luckily, if this is that special person you’ve always been dreaming of, you’ll know, so, fortunately, being certain is often the easy part. Also, be certain of your decision to propose, don’t be on one knee second-guessing asking what the time is or pretending to tie your shoelaces or anything okay!
LOCK YOUR BASES
It may seem old-school to ask your lover’s parents first, or even to inform your own, but respect of this magnitude can really go a long way. Of course, this depends on a variety of circumstances like are the parents around, or involved, and how is the relationship and things of that nature. Having the support and approval from friends and family can help bolster your confidence and resolve – as long as they can keep a secret!
THE GAME PLAN
You’re probably thinking ‘don’t I need a ring BEFORE I need a plan?‘, nope, the engage ring is the most important part yes, because technically, it’s the bling that signifies the lockdown, (well, so is the ‘yes, I’ll marry you‘) but the scenario of events that leads up to the climax is just as vital in making your proposal a memorable one. Here you’ll need to do some groundwork. Visit some jewelers and shop around for that ideal stone, buy or rent out something good to wear, preferably something you know your lover loves to see you in (besides your birthday suit). You might want to buy her something nice too, not too immediate, so maybe a week or two prior so she can also look good without being too alert to what your intentions are. Next, you’ll need to make reservations at her favorite restaurant – if that’s the plan. Book whatever it is you need to. The ferry, the Ferris wheel, the entire movie theater, whatever it is you have planned, put together and execute your action plan start getting the ball rolling. Note: Be aware of any possible unexpected things that may happen, like her working late, or having other plans or arrangements with family or friends. The evening should be free and only about the two of you. FACT – Pretty much every girl’s dream is getting proposed to perfectly. Followed by the perfect wedding. So put on your thinking cap for this one.
BE EXTRA
Arrange that special day from start to finish. Send her flowers at work, send a car to pick her up after, you could do anything really, but it should be small and considerate. Something that’ll have her thinking ‘ah, that’s so sweet of him‘, and nothing too obvious. Even a call to check up on her or a delivered lunch can be effective. The idea is to let her know that you’re thinking about her today. Doing all those little extras to spoil her might seem like an unnecessary expense but you’d be surprised to find that although there’s a cost, the reward and feelings she’ll have, plus the memories you’ll create will be priceless. A good thing to keep in mind is to focus on her favorites, from food to leisure, activities and places, anything that’ll heighten the experience for her. Also, extra doesn’t just mean before, it could be after proposal activities also. So she says yes, awesome. Why should it end there? Now you can both hop into a limo (or taxi, doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy) and go somewhere more exclusive, treat her to dessert then go back home. See, the after spoils leave a lasting impression, that now, we’ve taken this relationship to a new level of trust and loyalty.
THE RING
The traditional rule-of-thumb on how much to spend on an engagement ring has always been three month’s wages but buy what you think she’ll like. Don’t get us wrong, it shouldn’t be cheap, but it doesn’t have to be expensive either. Spend a fair amount and remember, it’s not the ring, it’s the love, and you’ll need any extra cash to pay for the wedding or to start building your future together. You’ll also need that extra bit of scratch to make your proposal as awesome as possible.
THINK ROMANCE
Although it’s your night, for the next few weeks it’s also going to be hers, and her family’s, and her friends, and colleagues, and the clerk at the grocery store. Women love romance. You’ll want it to be a story she can tell while fluttering her eyelids and blushing. Romance is never really expensive but always tailored and personal. Candles and rose petals when she gets home, dinner by candlelit, a sunset or moonlight proposal overlooking a scenic view like a skyline or lake. Those are the things that matter. Romance is always about her. So be about her.
POPPING THE QUESTION
Finally, the whole reason we’re doing this. It’s time to ask for her hand in marriage. Remember, this is likely to be nerve-wracking. Rejection is always a fear, along with the obvious attention your proposal will draw from any people around you. Depending on your game plan, you may have to be prepared for an audience. Just remember to relax, and if you start the day right then all your efforts to treat and spoil her will boost your determination to make this proposal a success. You have the entire evening. It’s good to have your question moment planned. It should be a time when it’s just the two of you, in a romantic setting. It needs to be very personalized and intimate. A moment when you can both look at each other and experience the intimacy of that moment.
There you have it, all you need to know to get ready for that big day. Whatever happens, be yourself and remember that love is a precious thing so enjoy every minute of it.
Poorly Planned Proposals
the stuff-ups!
There are a lot of successful proposal stories out there but let’s be honest, success in terms of popping the question is hard to determine since it’s not all about the cost, or how unique the idea or remote the destination. Quantifying a proposal is more about the personal and intimate reaction between two people. What we can say for sure though is that from accidentally proposing to your mother-in-law to setting someone of fire there are definitely BAD ways to propose and here we take a look at two times the guy got it totally wrong!
UP IN FLAMES
Our guy decides he is going to propose to his girlfriend on her birthday, that way maybe she won’t suspect the incoming request for marriage – or maybe it was more about two birds with one stone, either or. Anyway, he opted for the cliche ring in the glass of champagne (on his mom’s advice) which was served almost immediately. Aside from being an obvious proposal from the get-go, it was a total buzz-kill. Wait, there’s more as the sparks really start flying when the lucky MRS to-be bends over the retrieve her ring from the glass, paying no mind to the romantic candlelit setting that soon casually ignites her hair which quickly catches ablaze! One jug of water, a drenched outfit, and a few embarrassing stares later and it was all over. Luckily for him she still accepted so we guess all is well that ends well.
MARRY YO MAMA
You know the story, a cute-meet followed by a whirlwind love story where she decides to introduce him to her parents back home. Little does she know that on that planned weekend trip, he has some matrimonial plans of his own, quickly packing an engagement ring with him. Sadly, the right moment never really presents itself so one night, while sleeping in separate rooms the guy gets the courage to ask unaware while sneaking around that he’s popped into her parents’ bedroom. So unknowingly, he gets down on one and holding her mum’s hand, in the dark, he proposes! Both mom and dad were shocked and the intended fiance was embarrassed but it turned out to be a good laugh. They are happily married today and by they we mean the guy and the daughter, as was intended.